Please Send Drugs

Thanks to my amateur ass trying to ride a super-cute but way too heavy bike in Dutch traffic and failing spectacularly, I’ve visited my GP, an orthopaedist, and a knee specialist along with getting x-rays & an MRI. And soon …. ACL surgery!

Here’s how it’s gone so far:

🌷 Like nearly everyone in this country my GP is tall, blonde, & straight forward. She looked at my knee for approximately 20 seconds before telling me I was fine. Nothing was torn. Just ice it and take paracetamol. If your limb was dangling off your body by a tendon this would be the GP’s diagnosis. The Dutch are efficient and do not want to muck up with works with crybabies. Suck it up, go home, and stop wasting everyone’s time.

🌷 3 weeks later I worked up the nerve to again request, nay (politely and in broken Dutch) DEMAND a referral to a specialist. She audibly sighed as she wrote the referral. But I got it, dammit! Victory!

🌷 My orthopaedist was a grumpy older man who seemed annoyed by patients in general. Mid-conversation he told me to take off my pants and get on the table. No paper gowns or sheets. That would be inefficient and wasteful and very un-Dutch. It was just me in my barely theres trying desperately to tug my shirt down to cover my lady business.

🌷 Grumpy Doc sent me for an MRI. I was thrilled to learn it was NOT the claustrophobic, casket-like contraptions I was used to in the US. It was a GLORIOUS extremity MRI! I was so happy I would have hugged the tech but once again, I wasn’t wearing pants.

🌷 The MRI results lead me to a knee specialist who, when he smiled, looked a bit like Hugh Grant. When he told me to take off my pants and get on the table I was like, “Oh, hell no!” This was not my first rodeo. I pointed out that I wore flowy pants that were very easy to lift. Thank you very much, Mr. Grant. During the exam he tugged and twisted until my knee popped and I gasped. He asked if that was the problem I was concerned about. I said it very much was. So he twisted and popped it about 150 more times just to be sure.

I’m now on the waiting list for ACL surgery. Because it is essentially elective and I am not in pain, it will take 1-3 months to get it scheduled. Please send drugs.

2 thoughts on “Please Send Drugs

  1. Tanya, this is a wonderfully told, but essentially sad tale. Very few people I know would find any humor in this but you are definitely one. Good luck. I know you’ll be fine.

    Tom

  2. I could share horror stories about my USA doctors. Sadly, it seems “everywhere” the medical community is ripe with subpar interest in our health and well being. You have to be your own Advocate for demanding care! Kudos for you in calling them back!!! Sending hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery!

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